I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.