i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything