Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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  (443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y
  Replies (11) Good night (2020) Bad night (567)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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  (517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min.. http://tfl.nu/cx5p
  Replies (2) Good night (1941) Bad night (736)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first

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  (773): So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first http://tfl.nu/bbw8
  Replies (13) Good night (2415) Bad night (1094)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

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  (775): My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication. http://tfl.nu/hfzx
  Replies (38) Good night (708) Bad night (2454)
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  (510): View more from California

  Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.

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  (510): Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing. http://tfl.nu/2643
  Replies (52) Good night (4699) Bad night (575)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.

  (212): View more from New York

  i hate you

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  (813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you. (212): i hate you http://tfl.nu/mlwn
  Replies (20) Good night (4741) Bad night (1075)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.

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  (401): she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits. http://tfl.nu/xfwk
  Replies (33) Good night (1138) Bad night (6028)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.

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  (337): Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things. http://tfl.nu/jc42
  Replies (9) Good night (1144) Bad night (3089)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  this just has baby written all over it

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  (859): this just has baby written all over it http://tfl.nu/ltui
  Replies (6) Good night (568) Bad night (4214)
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  (315): View more from New York

  gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.

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  (315): gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk. http://tfl.nu/w2fg
  Replies (2) Good night (1849) Bad night (937)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.

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  (608): Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage. http://tfl.nu/zk4v
  Replies (9) Good night (1063) Bad night (2543)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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  (254): Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius http://tfl.nu/icdq
  Replies (11) Good night (1854) Bad night (873)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.

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  (215): hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges. http://tfl.nu/xi1h
  Replies (3) Good night (1452) Bad night (1092)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

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  (205): All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok. http://tfl.nu/h2pz
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (424)
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  (714): View more from California

  Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.

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  (714): Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying. http://tfl.nu/nfjo
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (319)

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