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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.

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• (949): View more from California

  Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!

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• (315): View more from New York

  don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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• (713): View more from Texas

  It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  And then my night got REAL pukey

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