I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And then my night got REAL pukey