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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.

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• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (845): View more from New York

  First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't remember what your face looks like..

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!

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  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"

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