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defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Randomize
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