Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
