I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
