Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.

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  (716): And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself. http://tfl.nu/r0kt
  Replies (19) Good night (892) Bad night (4006)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.

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  (802): there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/b4oz
  Replies (10) Good night (2782) Bad night (877)
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  (626): View more from California

  I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.

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  (626): I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night. http://tfl.nu/5hoo
  Replies (7) Good night (2382) Bad night (747)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.

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  (612): She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask. http://tfl.nu/em4a
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (806)
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  (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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  (805): I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up. http://tfl.nu/2z9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1964) Bad night (719)
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  (949): View more from California

  We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.

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  (949): We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car. http://tfl.nu/vgtj
  Replies (2) Good night (1131) Bad night (598)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Challenge Accepted

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  (216): Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight (440): Challenge Accepted http://tfl.nu/bdzo
  Replies (11) Good night (2492) Bad night (720)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.

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  (586): Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband. http://tfl.nu/u4p0
  Replies (3) Good night (3292) Bad night (600)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

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  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (554) Bad night (2143)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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  (937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr
  Replies (16) Good night (951) Bad night (1573)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

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  (219): This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup http://tfl.nu/la72
  Replies (14) Good night (887) Bad night (672)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.

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  (440): The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult. http://tfl.nu/70ah
  Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (366)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.

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  (307): The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin. http://tfl.nu/jijz
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (334)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.

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  (512): Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss. http://tfl.nu/t3a0
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (359)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

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  (904): Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine http://tfl.nu/8y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (745) Bad night (369)

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