Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

Replies (4) Good night (1625) Bad night (784)
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(212): View more from New York

the recession has oofficially hit my standards.

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(212): the recession has oofficially hit my standards. http://tfl.nu/xl9z

Replies (5) Good night (892) Bad night (2028)
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(416): View more from Ontario

dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross

(647): View more from Ontario

well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

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(416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross (647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun http://tfl.nu/i4zj

Replies (12) Good night (968) Bad night (3698)
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(903): View more from Texas

she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness

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(903): she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness http://tfl.nu/pvnd

Replies (13) Good night (3783) Bad night (897)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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(507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06

Replies (40) Good night (5919) Bad night (1062)
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(509): View more from Washington

He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.

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(509): He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that. http://tfl.nu/zg72

Replies (31) Good night (5410) Bad night (2283)
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(954): View more from Florida

it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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(954): it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/y5mn

Replies (7) Good night (4448) Bad night (1135)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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(503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf

Replies (7) Good night (2840) Bad night (751)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.

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(316): Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired. http://tfl.nu/ogws

Replies (27) Good night (2995) Bad night (868)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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(920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets

Replies (14) Good night (1395) Bad night (557)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.

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(814): I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/fkn8

Replies (10) Good night (1223) Bad night (572)
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(512): View more from Texas

The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning

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(512): The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning http://tfl.nu/lha0

Replies (5) Good night (1529) Bad night (567)
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(315): View more from New York

And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..

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(315): And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness.. http://tfl.nu/wnyn

Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (418)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...

(1-937): View more from Ohio

I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.

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(937): I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke... (1-937): I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment. http://tfl.nu/31kk

Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (620)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....

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(610): Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something..... http://tfl.nu/e8un

Replies (0) Good night (767) Bad night (401)

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