so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
