i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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