Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
