Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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