I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
