fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
