How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
