i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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