Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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