Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
