She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
