What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
