I wish I only lived at night.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
