Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize