When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
