i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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