He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
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There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
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I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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