You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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