You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
