i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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