Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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