her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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