Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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