wakey wakey hands off snakey
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
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I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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