It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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