I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
