ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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