i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
