OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
