he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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