when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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