is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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