You can't special order awesome
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
