omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize