Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My penis needs a shock collar
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I deserve this hangover.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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