Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
