Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
