He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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