Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize