This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
