the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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