This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
