All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
