He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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