So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
