i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
