dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Your dad touched me again.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
