There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
