I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
