"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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