butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
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Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
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You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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