I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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