I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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