oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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