Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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