Moan for me like Helen Keller
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
