I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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