Buhtt sex?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
