If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
