Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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