well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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