Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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