We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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